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For Programmers ... remember the good old days



Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted
COFFEE>EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
Buy a Pentium 585/90 so you can reboot faster.
2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
< -----------The information went dataway -------------- >
Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

BREAKFAST.COM Halted ... Cereal Port Not Responding
The name is Baud ...., James Baud
BUFFERS=20 FILES=15, 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go
Access denied -- nah nah ne nah nah

C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay ...
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing

Southern DOS: Y'all recon? (Yep/Nope)
Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.
E Pluribus Modem

... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N>
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny.
A mainframe? The biggest PC peripheral available
An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/N)

Does fuzzy logic tickle?
A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's laptop
24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence?
Disinformation is not as good as datinformation

Windows: Just another pane in the glass
SENILE.COM found ... Out of Memory
Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
Shell to Dos ... Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS ...

All computers wait at the same speed.
DEFINITION: Comoputer - a device designed to speed an automate errors.
Press < CTRL >-< ALT >-< DEL > to continue

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage
Help! I'm modeming ... and I can't hang up!!
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue

"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981

DOS tip#17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

Press any key ... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven

REALTY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works gre0?_~"
Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
Read my chips: No new upgrades
Hit any user to continue

2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!   now, that's really old
I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?

Disk Full - Press F1 to belch
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammel capable of conversing with inanimate objects.
Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.


virus & political jokes